Child Safety
- As soon as your toddler says her first words, it's time to start talking to her about safety.
- Don't frighten your child by expressing your own fears–instead, be matter-of-fact when discussing sensitive issues.
- Teach your child to listen to her instincts and know it's okay to say "no" to anyone acting inappropriately.
- Use the five P's–protect, prepare, practice, praise, preview–to teach your child new skills.
- Children who are loved unconditionally feel more worthwhile and are less likely to mistreat others, or allow someone to mistreat them.
n today's world of increasingly early independence, it's more important than ever to teach children right from wrong at an early age. Here's how to empower your child so she can stand up for herself, but still feel comfortable coming to you if she ever feels threatened.
1. Accept your role as protector and teacher.
No parent wants to admit that violence, bullying or online predators may find their way into their child's life. Unfortunately, these are issues most children face before they graduate from grade school. Be aware of any dangers in your neighborhood so you can better inform and protect your child.
2. Safety First.
As soon as your toddler says her first words, it's time to start talking about safety. Let her know it's never okay to feel threatened by someone–and, if she does, she should come to you for help.
3. Prepare - don't scare - your kids.
Research shows if you express your fears when telling your child about potential dangers, she won't remember your message, only that you were scared. Practice using moderate language and a matter-of-fact tone when you discuss sensitive issues. Focus on what your child needs to learn, rather than why it upsets you. Share your fears and worries with other adults, not your children.
4. Help your child say "no."
Empower your child with the right to say "no" to anyone acting inappropriately–regardless of their position of power. This is a first step in turning "nice" kids, who are compliant in most situations, into "safe and strong" kids who obey adults unless they feel confused or threatened.
5. Teach your child to respond to her instincts.
It might be a voice in her head that says, "Uh-oh, this isn't okay." Or maybe it's a feeling in the pit of her stomach. Teach your child to listen to her instincts and not to try to rationalize another person's behavior or wait for a situation to escalate.
6. Teach and model healthy boundaries in relationships.
Children need to learn what a "respectful distance" looks and feels like. They also need to recognize if someone is ignoring boundaries and what to do about it.
7. Protect, Prepare, Practice, Praise and Preview.
Use these five steps to teach your child the skills she will need when she learns something new, such as crossing the street on her own. The emphasis is on supervised practice, which allows you to gauge your child's progress and ensures that you don't give her a new privilege or responsibility before she is prepared to handle it successfully.
8. Monitor your child.
Protective parenting is not about hovering or being paranoid. It's about being a good observer, supervisor and sometimes a detective. Listen to, and watch, your child. Be curious, involved and ask questions. Notice any changes in her behavior or mood. You want to catch early signs of a budding problem, rather than deal with a full-blown crisis.
9. Cultivate your child's self esteem and desirable traits.
Enthusiastically praise glimpses of behavior that you want to see more of. Your toddler will pick up on your pleasure in watching her become trustworthy and responsible. She will try harder to demonstrate those kinds of behaviors.
10. Say: "I love you."
It's easy to say these three words when you are proud of something your child has done, but be sure to express your love when the going gets tough too. Children who are loved unconditionally feel more worthwhile and are less likely to mistreat others, or allow someone to mistreat them.
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