How to Rekindle your Relationship

Your guide to falling in love all over again

Rekindling Relationships

• Ignore the frustrating little things he does and focus on the things that make you smile, like how he plays with the kids.
• Pay him a compliment–it not only makes him feel loved, it makes him feel more loving.
• Anytime you feel annoyed, take a minute to ask yourself: “How important is this?” and “Is this worth picking a fight over?”
• Make the effort to touch your partner more often, whether it’s a pat, a hug, a kiss or a shoulder massage.
• Take small, daily snippets of time when you can enjoy uninterrupted conversation and share your thoughts and feelings.

as your relationship been pushed down your list of priorities since having children? Your relationship with your partner is the foundation upon which your entire family is structured–so if your marriage is strong, your whole family will be strong, you’ll be a better parent, and you’ll be a happier person. Here’s how to reconnect with your partner:

1. Make a commitment

To maintain a strong relationship or marriage, you must be willing to put time, effort and thought into nurturing it. Not only may you fall in love with your partner or spouse all over again, but your children will benefit. Children need daily proof that their family life is stable and predictable. When you make a commitment to your relationship, your children will feel the difference and blossom because their home life is thriving.

The surprising secret is that this doesn’t have to take any extra time in your already busy schedule. Just a change in attitude and a committed focus can yield a stronger, happier relationship.

2. Look for the good, overlook the bad

You chose to be with this person for many good reasons, so a key step in adding sizzle to your relationship is to look for the good and overlook the bad.

Make it a habit to ignore the annoying little things–dirty socks on the floor, a day-old coffee cup on the counter, an inelegant burp at the dinner table–and choose instead to search for those things that make you smile: the way he rolls on the floor with the baby; the fact that she made your favorite cookies, the peace in knowing someone so well that you can wear your worn out flannels or burp at the table.

3. Give two compliments every day

When we get a compliment, it not only makes us feel great about ourselves, it actually makes us feel great about the person giving the compliment. When your honey says, “You’re the best. I’m so glad I married you.” It not only makes you feel loved, it makes you feel more loving.

Compliments are easy to give, take very little time, and they’re free. Compliments are powerful; you just have to make the effort to say them. Anything works: “Thanks for picking up the cleaning. It was very thoughtful, you saved me a trip,” or “That sweater looks great on you.”

4. Play nice

How many times do you see–or experience–partners treating each other in impolite, harsh ways that they’d never treat a friend? Sometimes we take our partners for granted and unintentionally display rudeness. As the saying goes, if you have a choice between being right and being nice, just choose to be nice. Remember: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

5. Pick your battles

In any human relationship there will be disagreement and conflict. The key here is to decide which issues are worth pursuing and which are better off ignored. By doing this, you’ll find much less negative energy between you.

Anytime you feel annoyed, take a minute to examine the issue at hand, and ask yourself a few questions. “How important is this?” “Is this worth picking a fight over?” “What would be the benefit of choosing this battle versus letting it go?”

6. The 60-second cuddle

You can often identify a newly married couple just by how much they touch each other–holding hands, sitting close, touching arms, kissing–just as you can spot an “oldly-married” couple by how little they touch.

So here’s a simple reminder: make the effort to touch your spouse more often. A pat, a hug, a kiss, a shoulder massage–the good feeling it produces for both of you far outweighs the effort.

Whenever you’ve been apart, make it a rule that you will take just 60 seconds to cuddle, touch and connect. If you follow this advice, you’ll find yourselves touching each other more often and increasing the romantic aspect of your relationship.

7. Spend more time talking to, and listening to, your partner

I don’t mean, “Remember to pick up Jimmy’s soccer uniform.” Rather, get into the habit of sharing your thoughts about what you read in the paper, what you watch on TV, your hopes, your dreams, your concerns. Take a special interest in those things that your spouse is interested in and ask questions. And then listen to the answers.

8. Spend time with your spouse

It can be very difficult for your marriage to thrive if you spend all your time being “Mommy” and “Daddy.” This doesn’t mean you have to take a two-week vacation in Hawaii. Just take small, daily snippets of time when you can enjoy uninterrupted conversation, or even just quiet companionship, without a baby on your hip, a child tugging your shirtsleeve or a teenager begging for the car keys.

A daily morning walk around the block or a shared cup of tea after all the children are in bed might work wonders to re-connect you to each other. And yes, it’s fine to talk about your children when you’re spending your time together because, after all, your children are one of the most important connections you have in your relationship.

When you and your spouse regularly connect in a way that nurtures your relationship, you may find a renewed love between you, as well as a refreshed vigor that will allow you to be a better, more loving parent. You owe it to yourself–and to your kids–to nurture your relationship.

Teaching Street Smarts to Keep Children Safe

The sooner children learn to stand up for themselves and be aware of potentially harmful situations, the better. Here's how to empower them and keep them safe.

Child Safety

• As soon as your toddler says her first words, it's time to start talking to her about safety.
• Don't frighten your child by expressing your own fears–instead, be matter-of-fact when discussing sensitive issues.
• Teach your child to listen to her instincts and know it's okay to say "no" to anyone acting inappropriately.
• Use the five P's–protect, prepare, practice, praise, preview–to teach your child new skills.
• Children who are loved unconditionally feel more worthwhile and are less likely to mistreat others, or allow someone to mistreat them.  

n today's world of increasingly early independence, it's more important than ever to teach children right from wrong at an early age. Here's how to empower your child so she can stand up for herself, but still feel comfortable coming to you if she ever feels threatened.

1.    Accept your role as protector and teacher.

No parent wants to admit that violence, bullying or online predators may find their way into their child's life. Unfortunately, these are issues most children face before they graduate from grade school. Be aware of any dangers in your neighborhood so you can better inform and protect your child.

2.    Safety First.

As soon as your toddler says her first words, it's time to start talking about safety. Let her know it's never okay to feel threatened by someone–and, if she does, she should come to you for help.

3.    Prepare - don't scare - your kids.

Research shows if you express your fears when telling your child about potential dangers, she won't remember your message, only that you were scared. Practice using moderate language and a matter-of-fact tone when you discuss sensitive issues. Focus on what your child needs to learn, rather than why it upsets you. Share your fears and worries with other adults, not your children.

4.    Help your child say "no."

Empower your child with the right to say "no" to anyone acting inappropriately–regardless of their position of power. This is a first step in turning "nice" kids, who are compliant in most situations, into "safe and strong" kids who obey adults unless they feel confused or threatened.

5.    Teach your child to respond to her instincts.

It might be a voice in her head that says, "Uh-oh, this isn't okay." Or maybe it's a feeling in the pit of her stomach. Teach your child to listen to her instincts and not to try to rationalize another person's behavior or wait for a situation to escalate.

6.    Teach and model healthy boundaries in relationships.

Children need to learn what a "respectful distance" looks and feels like. They also need to recognize if someone is ignoring boundaries and what to do about it.  

7.    Protect, Prepare, Practice, Praise and Preview. 

Use these five steps to teach your child the skills she will need when she learns something new, such as crossing the street on her own. The emphasis is on supervised practice, which allows you to gauge your child's progress and ensures that you don't give her a new privilege or responsibility before she is prepared to handle it successfully.  

8.    Monitor your child.

Protective parenting is not about hovering or being paranoid. It's about being a good observer, supervisor and sometimes a detective. Listen to, and watch, your child. Be curious, involved and ask questions. Notice any changes in her behavior or mood. You want to catch early signs of a budding problem, rather than deal with a full-blown crisis.

9.    Cultivate your child's self esteem and desirable traits.

Enthusiastically praise glimpses of behavior that you want to see more of. Your toddler will pick up on your pleasure in watching her become trustworthy and responsible. She will try harder to demonstrate those kinds of behaviors.

10.     Say: "I love you."

It's easy to say these three words when you are proud of something your child has done, but be sure to express your love when the going gets tough too. Children who are loved unconditionally feel more worthwhile and are less likely to mistreat others, or allow someone to mistreat them. 

Post-Partum Plastic Surgery

If your post-baby body has you contemplating surgery, here’s what you should know about the procedures most often chosen by moms

Post-Baby Plastic Surgery

• The most common procedures moms choose are breast augmentations and tummy tucks.
• Most surgeons recommend waiting until you've finished having children before going for a tummy tuck or breast reduction.
• It can take six weeks to fully recover from these types of surgery.
• Wait at least nine months after weaning before undergoing any breast procedures to ensure there is no milk left in your ducts.
• Most women who undergo breast augmentation can breastfeed if they have another child, but women who have breast reductions have more difficulty.

 f you're having trouble accepting your post-baby body and are considering a major "mommy makeover," here's what you should know about the plastic surgery procedures most often chosen by moms:

 

1. Breast Augmentation

Many women complain that their breasts are smaller or look saggy from breastfeeding. Breast augmentation is probably the most common post-baby procedure, says Dr. Sean Brian Rice, a plastic surgeon in Toronto.

What it is: A surgeon makes small incisions in the skin and places breast implants under the skin and tissue of the breasts. The incisions can be made in the creases of the breasts, in a circle around the nipples and areolas, or in the armpits.

There are several different types of implants available–most are filled with either a form of silicone gel or saline (saltwater) solution. Today's silicone gel implants are nothing like the ones that caused problems a few years ago, Dr. Rice says. Today, the gel implants are much safer and are designed to mimic real breast tissue.
 
What to expect: The surgery takes about 45 minutes under general anesthetic and can be done on an outpatient basis. Many plastic surgeons have operating rooms in their offices and you can usually go home the same day.

Dr. Rice says you can expect to be back at work within a week, although you should avoid heavy lifting for about two weeks. You can resume physical activity in two to four weeks.

Special considerations: The majority of women who undergo breast augmentation surgery can breastfeed again if they have another child. However, Dr. Rice recommends waiting at least nine months to a year after weaning before undergoing the procedure.

Cost: $6,500 to $8,000

2. Tummy Tuck

Stretch marks, stretched out muscles and flabby abdomens make tummy tucks tempting to many moms. "What happens with childbearing is that the ligament stretches and doesn't come back," says Dr. Rice. "You can do sit ups until the cows come home, but you're still going to have a pot belly."

What it is: Skin and fat are removed from the top of the pubic hairline to the top of the belly button and abdominal muscles are tightened. Everything from the belly button down is discarded, and everything above the belly button gets pulled down to the pubic hair line. (Any stretch marks that were below the belly button disappear, but any that were above the belly button reappear down around the public hairline.)

What to expect: Most tummy tucks are done under general anesthetic on an outpatient basis, although your surgeon may perform the procedure in a hospital rather than a clinic.

You can expect to be off work for at least a week, with no heavy lifting for at least two weeks. A full recovery usually takes about six weeks.

Special considerations: Permanent, non-dissolving stitches are used to put your abs back in position. Recent studies show that the muscle will stay in place even if you have another pregnancy, although the skin will stretch out again and you may need to return for a second procedure. Dr. Rice recommends waiting until you know you're finished having children before undergoing a tummy tuck.

Cost: $7,000 to $10,000

3.  Breast Reduction

For every woman who's upset that her breasts disappeared after breastfeeding, there's probably another who found that the larger breasts never went away. Heavy, sagging breasts can cause neck, shoulder and back pain, as well as headaches–many women turn to breast reduction to reduce the volume of their breasts.

What it is: Fat, tissue and skin are removed through incisions, then the breasts are reshaped. The type and direction of incisions may depend on the size of your breasts, or the amount of reduction desired. In some cases, the surgeon may remove your nipple and areola and change its size before reattaching it further up on the breast.

What to expect: The procedure can take at least an hour and a half, under general anesthetic. You can usually go home the same day, although you can expect to be in bed for a few days afterward.

Plan to take up to two weeks off work, and avoid doing any physical activity or heavy lifting for at least three weeks. It will take about six weeks to fully recover.

Special considerations: Dr. Rice recommends waiting at least nine months to one year after weaning before having a breast reduction. Also, if your nipples are removed and the areolas resized, you may lose some nipple sensitivity.

It is also more difficult to breastfeed after a breast reduction–Dr. Rice says that although you may be able to produce milk, you may only have a limited capacity. He recommends not undergoing the procedure until after having children if you want to breastfeed.

Cost: Covered under some provincial health plans in Canada; approximately $7,000 to $9,000 in the United States.

4. Liposuction

Some women complain of sagging arms, love handles and extra fat on the sides of their breasts under their armpits after they've had children. Liposuction removes excess fat and can also be done in conjunction with a tummy tuck or breast reduction.

What it is: Liposuction uses suction to remove fatty deposits from traditional trouble spots, such as the abdomen, thighs and upper arms. The surgeon uses suction through a stainless steel tube called a cannula to break up and remove fatty tissue.

Dr. Rice also uses a new method of laser liposuction called SmartLipo. A handheld laser is inserted through a small incision and the laser beam appears beneath the skin as a dim red light that is visible to the surgeon, allowing him to locate and remove fatty deposits. The laser wand is waved like a fan back and forth beneath the skin, where it eliminates the fat cells it comes in contact with.

What to expect: Most liposuction procedures take about 45 minutes and can be performed under local anesthetic.

Special considerations: Liposuction works best for someone in good overall physical condition and close to her ideal weight who simply wants to slim and sculpt specific areas. Dr. Rice does not recommed it for patients hoping to lose large amounts of weight with a single procedure.

Cost: Starts at approximately $4,000, with an additional $2,000 for each extra area of the body.

Postpartum Depression

How to spot the signs of postpartum depression and get help–now.

Postpartum Depression

• Up to 15% of new mothers suffer from postpartum depression (PPD).
• Postpartum depression is an illness caused by biochemical and hormonal changes following pregnancy and birth.
• Your OB/GYN or midwife can help you find a doctor that specializes in PPD.
• Learning more about baby care will help you feel more in control as a parent, which can help reduce your risks of postpartum depression.
• PPD support groups are excellent resources, but any group for new mothers can help you feel less isolated.

 

Related stories

• 1.  New Mom Survival Guide
• 2.  Pregnancy Spa Safety
• 3.  What Happens to Your Body After Childbirth

ostpartum depression doesn't mean you've done anything wrong–or that something is wrong with you. It is an illness and it can be cured. Once you learn more about what's causing the depression and take some steps towards treatment, you'll be on the road to finding yourself again and enjoying life with your new baby. Here's what you need to know:

What is postpartum depression?

About 80 percent of mothers experience temporary, minor depressed feelings (also known as "the baby blues") after giving birth. The baby blues usually go away within a few days or weeks.

Up to 15 percent of new mothers have a more severe reaction known as postpartum depression (PPD). Postpartum depression may appear to be the baby blues at first–but the symptoms are more intense and longer lasting. PPD can occur within the first year after childbirth. It is caused by the biochemical and hormonal changes that happen in the body following pregnancy and birth.

What are the symptoms of postpartum depression?

PPD affects all women differently. You probably won't experience everything on the following list (and the degree of symptoms may range from mild to severe), but if a number of these apply to you, you may be suffering from postpartum depression.

• Feeling hopeless, worthless or inadequate
• Frequent crying or tearfulness
• Insomnia or sleepiness
• Lack of energy
• Loss of pleasure in activities you normally enjoy
• Difficulty doing typical daily chores
• Loss of appetite
• Feelings of sadness and despair
• Feelings of guilt, panic or confusion
• Feelings of anger or anxiety
• Extreme mood swings
• Memory loss
• Over concern for baby
• Fear of "losing control"
• Lack of interest in sex
• Worrying that you may hurt your baby
• A desire to escape from your baby or your family
• Withdrawal from social circles and routines
• Thoughts about hurting yourself

If you suffer from extreme degrees of any of these symptoms, particularly thoughts about hurting yourself or your baby, or if you have additional physical symptoms such as hallucinations, confusion or paranoia, you should call a doctor immediately.

What can I do about postpartum depression?

Contact your OB/GYN or your midwife for a referral to a PPD expert who can evaluate your condition. He may suggest medication, such as antidepressants (there are breastfeeding-friendly options), and therapy. In addition, the following things can help you begin to feel better:

1. Talk to someone you trust. Sharing your feelings with someone who cares about you, even if you feel you can't talk specifically about postpartum depression, can help.

2. Knowledge is power. Reading books about baby care and parenting will help you feel more confident, which in turn will help you feel more in control of your situation.

3. Join a support group. While postpartum depression support groups are an excellent choice, any group for new mothers that allows you to share your feelings about motherhood can help you feel less isolated.

The following websites can help you find a postpartum depression support group in your area:

4. Accept help from others.  If anyone offers to help you⎯whether it's to take your baby for a walk, cook a meal or drive your older kids to sports practice⎯accept! You don't have to do everything yourself to be a good mother.

5. Get extra sleep. Forget about the clock. Just sleep whenever you can.

6. Relax your standards. This is not the time to worry about a spotless house, gourmet meals, the corporate ladder or the last time you had a manicure. Stick to the basics and concentrate on taking care of yourself and your baby.

7. Get fresh air.  When possible, put your baby in the sling or stroller and take a walk. The exercise and open spaces will help you feel more energized and lift your spirits.

8. Eat healthy foods. Taking care of yourself is important-focus on fresh fruits and vegetables, and making simple, nutritious, meals.

9. Eat frequently. Going long stretches without food wreaks havoc on your system. Simple snacks, like an apple with peanut butter, are easy to prepare and prevent your blood sugar from dipping.

10. Love yourself. You are going to be okay. Take it one step at a time. With help and time, you'll develop a refreshing and healthy outlook to your new role as a mother.

Baby Car Travel Tips

Some babies love nothing more than a mini road trip, but for other’s their car seat is akin to a mini torture device. Here’s how to make road trips more pleasant for even the most resistant traveller.

Baby Car Travel

• Place your child in the car seat while you’re at home so she can become comfortable with it.
• Place a mirror or other interesting object on the back of the seat that your baby is facing.
• Many babies are soothed by adult music–especially softer hits such as the Beatles.
• Practice with short, pleasant trips when your baby is in a good mood. A few good experiences may help set a new travel pattern.

istening to your baby cry while you are trying to drive is challenging. But a few new ideas and a little time and maturity can help your baby become a happy traveler. Pick and choose from our list of car travel tips until you find one that works for your child.

1. Make sure your baby is healthy.

If car seat crying is something new your baby may not be feeling well. If your child is also fussy at home, a visit to the doctor is in order.

2. Bring the car seat in the house and let your baby sit and play in it.

Once your child becomes more familiar with the seat, she may be happier to sit there in the car.

3. Keep a special box of soft, safe car toys for use only in the car.

New, interesting toys may help hold your child’s attention. (Avoid hard toys because they could cause injury in a quick stop.)

4. Tape or hang toys for viewing.

Place a mirror or other interesting object on the back of the seat that your baby is facing. Or, string an array of lightweight toys from the ceiling using heavy tape and yarn. Place toys at arm’s reach so your baby can bat at them from her seat.

5. Make a car mobile.

Link a long row of plastic baby chains from one side of the backseat to the other. Clip new soft, lightweight toys onto the chain for each trip. Make sure toys are secure and keep on eye on them to ensure they don’t come loose while driving.

6. Hang a made-for-baby poster on the back of the seat that faces your baby.

Black, white, red and bold primary colors are a great way to catch baby’s attention. You can even buy baby car posters that have pockets so you can interchange the pictures.

7. Experiment with different types of music in the car.

Some babies enjoy lullabies or music tapes made especially for young children, while others surprise you by calming down as soon as you play one of your personal favorites. (Beatles hits tend to be a child favorite.) If all else fails, some babies think mom or dad sound even better than Beyonce so try singing along.

8.Try “white noise” in the car.

Purchase a CD of soothing nature sounds or make a recording of a vacuum cleaner or other background noise.

9. Practice with short, pleasant trips when your baby is in a good mood.

A few good experiences may help set a new pattern.

10. Try a pacifier or teething toy.

When your baby has something to suck or chew on she may be happier.

11. Place a sunshade in the window.

Some babies are bothered by the sunshine in their face and a sunshade can help. Opt for stick-on varieties, avoiding any hard pieces that could become dislodged in a quick stop.

12. Try opening a window.

Fresh air and a nice breeze can be soothing.

How to Hire a Nanny

Your guide to finding the perfect nanny for your family.

Finding a Nanny

• Decide on the qualifications and/or education you require the nanny to have.
• Because you can deduct room and board expenses, a live-in nanny may have less take-home pay than a live-out.
• Any nanny who is caring for an infant or toddler should have current First Aid and CPR training.
• Personally interview each nanny and ask specific, scenario-type questions (“What would you do if…?”)
• Have your nanny come to your home for a paid trial day.

iring a nanny for your children can be stressful, especially for the first time. Here’s everything you need to know to make the process easier so you can find the best care for your kids.

Live-in, or live-out?

Before you start your search, establish what kind of nanny you need. Sit down and decide if you want a "live-in” or "live-out" nanny.

A live-in nanny lives in your home, so you will need to consider space and privacy issues relative to your home and family. You also need to decide on the qualifications and/or education you require the nanny to have, and the duties she will be doing on a daily basis.

For example, are you looking for someone whose only responsibility is childcare, or would you like to find someone willing to do some housework, or cooking? Do you want a nanny with an Early Childhood Education background, someone who speaks another language, or who has their drivers license so they can help pick your kids up from school?

How much should you pay?

Taking the nanny’s responsibilities into consideration, think about the wage you will offer. At first, you can get an idea of the going rate in your area by contacting neighbors, friends and coworkers who have hired nannies. You can then set a wage, $12 per hour for example, or a range that you’ll pay within, such as $10 to $14 per hour, depending on experience and qualifications.

Remember–a live-in nanny is living in your home, so you can deduct room and board expenses from her pay, which means that a live-in nanny may have less take-home pay than a live-out.

Finding the best nanny for your family

Here are 12 tips to keep in mind when you’re hiring a nanny:

1. Write a job description for the position. This explains to the applicants what the job is that they’re applying for, so you’ll want to be descriptive, but fairly brief. You’ll need this description when you’re advertising for your nanny, as well as to refer to after hiring

2. Give yourself time to search for, and interview, a nanny. Try to interview more than one nanny to allow for comparison – don’t cram too many interviews into one day.

3. Personally interview the nanny. Create a relaxed atmosphere that shows you’re well-organized. Ask specific, scenario-type questions (“What would you do if…?”) and be sure to describe your position in detail. Avoid asking the nanny to provide childcare during the first interview.

4. Perform screening and reference checks. Consider asking each nanny for a Police Record check. Any nanny who is caring for an infant and/or toddler should have current First Aid and CPR training. Ask for references and call them; they can either confirm what the nanny has said, or contradict it. (You should do this even if you use a placement agency.)

5. Be honest and realistic about your expectations. Provide your nanny with the detailed job description that you have prepared. Include your child’s temperament and development.

6. Have your nanny come to your home for a paid trial day. You can observe how the nanny interacts with your children, and can ensure that she is the right match for your family. This also gives your child time to become comfortable with the nanny.

7. Sign a contract. When you choose a nanny, ensure that you both agree upon all responsibilities, duties, wages, hours and terms of employment before she starts work in your home–this should be in writing and signed by both nanny and parent.

8. On the first day, take the nanny on a tour of your home. Provide her with the location of the First Aid kit and fire extinguisher, as well as any emergency plans you have made with your children. Make her aware of any rooms that the children are not allowed to play in.

9. Prepare your child. If your child is old enough, talk to them about what to expect and encourage them to ask question and express fears.

10. Leave your nanny with all emergency information. This should include all emergency services, a phone number for where you will be and an immediate adult backup number.

11. Write out instructions–including warming bottles and food, routines, special conditions or medications.

12. Say good-bye. When it is time to leave for the first time, say good-bye to your children and the nanny and leave. Don’t sneak out–this makes your children think there is something wrong.

Remember that when you hire a nanny, you become an employer and, to ensure that you are a good employer, you need to receive regular feedback from your nanny and your children. Keep the lines of communication open and also provide your nanny with regular feedback on her performance.

Separation Anxiety

Is your infant only happy when you’re within arm’s reach? Here’s how to ease her through this normal stage of development.

Separation Anxiety

• Separation anxiety is a normal (and positive) developmental stage that most babies experience between seven and 18 months.
• The development of separation anxiety shows your baby has established a healthy bond with you and that she is developing intellectually.
• Your infant may be experiencing separation anxiety if she becomes clingy, afraid of strangers and cries when you're out of sight but is easily comforted in your arms.
• Give your baby lessons in object permanence with games like peek-a-boo and hide-and-seek and practice with quick, safe separations (go into another room and whistle, sing, or talk to your baby so she knows you're still there, even though she can't see you).
• Don't sneak away when you have to leave her–tell your baby what to expect and express a positive attitude when leaving her.

 

f you leave the room and your baby cries as if you’ve left the country, she may be suffering from separation anxiety. First of all, don’t worry that you’ve somehow spoiled her–nothing you’ve done has “made” your baby act this way. It’s a normal and important developmental stage and nearly all children experience separation anxiety between the ages of seven and 18 months.

What is separation anxiety?

The development of separation anxiety demonstrates that your baby has formed a healthy, loving attachment to you. It is a sign that your baby associates pleasure, comfort and security with your presence. It also indicates that your baby is developing intellectually (in other words, she’s smart!). She has learned that she can have an effect on her world when she makes her needs known and she doesn’t have to passively accept a situation that makes her uncomfortable.

But she doesn’t know enough about the world yet to understand that when you leave her you’ll always come back. This stage, like so many others in childhood, will pass. In time, your baby will learn that she can separate from you, that you will return, and that everything will be okay between those two points in time. Much of this learning is based on trust, which, just as for every human being young or old, takes time to build.

How do I know if my baby has separation anxiety?

Separation anxiety is pretty easy to spot. The following are behaviors typically demonstrated by a baby with normal separation anxiety:

• Clinginess
• Crying when a parent is out of sight
• Strong preference for only one parent
• Fear of strangers
• Waking at night crying for a parent
• Easily comforted in a parent’s embrace

 

How can I help my baby deal with separation anxiety?

1. Allow your baby to be a baby. It’s perfectly okay for your baby to be attached to you and for her to desire your constant companionship. It’s evidence that the bond you’ve worked so hard to create is holding. So politely ignore those who tell you otherwise.

2. Don’t worry about spoiling her with love, since quite the opposite will happen. The more that you meet her attachment needs during babyhood, the more confident and secure she will grow up to be.

3. Minimize separations when possible. It’s perfectly acceptable for now to avoid those situations that would have you separate from your baby. All too soon, your baby will move past this phase and on to the next developmental milestone.

4. Give your baby lessons in object permanence. As your baby learns that things continue to exist even when she can’t see them, she’ll feel better about letting you out of her sight. Games like peek-a-boo and hide-and-seek will help her understand this phenomenon.

5. Practice with quick, safe separations. Throughout the day, create situations of brief separation. When you go into another room, whistle, sing, or talk to your baby so she knows you’re still there, even though she can’t see you.

6. Don’t sneak away when you have to leave her. It may seem easier than dealing with a tearful goodbye, but it will just cause her constant worry that you’re going to disappear without warning at any given moment. The result? Even more clinginess and diminished trust in your relationship.

7. Tell your baby what to expect. If you are going to the store and leaving her at home with Grandma, explain where you are going and tell her when you’ll be back. Eventually, she’ll come to understand your explanations.

8. Don’t rush the parting, but don’t prolong it, either. Give your baby time to process your leave-taking, but don’t drag it out and make it more painful for both of you.

9. Express a positive attitude when leaving her. If you’re off to work or an evening out, leave with a smile. Your baby will absorb your emotions, so if you’re nervous about leaving her, she’ll be nervous as well. Your confidence will help alleviate her fears.

10. Leave your baby with familiar people. If you must leave her with a new caregiver, try to arrange a few visits when you’ll all be together before you leave the two of them alone for the first time.

11. Invite distractions. If you’re leaving your baby with a caregiver or relative, encourage that person to get your baby involved with playtime as you leave. Say a quick good-bye and let your baby be distracted by an interesting activity.

12. Allow your baby the separation that she initiates. If she crawls off to another room, don’t rush after her. Listen and peek, of course, to make sure that she’s safe, but let her know it’s fine for her to go off exploring on her own.

13. Encourage her relationship with a special toy, if she seems to have one. These are called transitional objects or lovies. They can be a comfort to her when she’s separated from you. Many babies adopt blankets or soft toys as loveys, holding them to ease any pain of separation. The lovey becomes a friend and represents security in the face of change.

14. Don’t take it personally. Many babies go through a stage of attaching themselves to one parent or the other. The other parent (as well as grandparents, siblings and friends) can find this difficult to accept, but try to reassure them that it’s just a temporary and normal phase of development and with a little time and gentle patience, it will pass.

Baby's Development in the First Trimester

From single cell to human fetus: a detailed look at your baby’s first three months

First Trimester Development

• Your pregnancy countdown starts from the beginning of your last menstrual period.
• At just five weeks, your pregnancy will be visible on ultrasound.
• By six weeks, the regular flicker of a heartbeat is first visible on ultrasound.
• At nine weeks, your baby's head is large in relation to the trunk, and the arms and legs are short and flipper-like.
• By the end of the first trimester, your baby's body proportions have changed to become similar to those of a newborn.

fter first discovering they’re pregnant, most women can’t wait to find out more about the changes that are about to take place in their bodies. The first trimester is the most amazing three-month period in biology; what begins as a single cell (the fertilized egg) will become a tiny fetus with all of the baby’s internal organs in place and recognizable human features in just 13 short weeks. Here’s a look at your baby’s development in the first trimester:

Weeks 1 to 4

Your pregnancy countdown starts from the first day of your last menstrual period. About two weeks before you notice a missed period, an egg is released from your ovary and a sperm fertilizes it to create a zygote. This zygote divides repeatedly as it travels along the fallopian tube. By the time it reaches the uterus, it's a bundle of 12 to 15 cells.

While the uterus waits for its arrival, it transforms itself into a welcoming home, ready to accept and nurture the zygote when it appears. The uterus creates extra blood vessels and special glands in its inner lining to nourish the developing baby. Four to five days after fertilization, the zygote has implanted itself in the uterus, where cell division and growth continue throughout your pregnancy.

Week 5

About one week after your missed period, your pregnancy will be visible on ultrasound. At this point, it is a small fluid collection called a gestational sac. It is just 2/10 of an inch in diameter and lies within the lining of the uterus known as the deciduas. (See Below.) Even though the baby is still too small to see, this first visual proof of the developing pregnancy is very exciting.

 

5-week ultrasound

Week 6

A week later, the baby is finally visible on ultrasound. (See Below.) At this point, it appears as a tiny oval blip approximately a tenth of an inch in length (about the width of a sunflower seed). The regular flicker of a heartbeat is first visible on the screen. 

 

6 week ultrasound

Weeks 7 to 10

The most striking change over the next two to three weeks is the appearance of identifiable human features. The baby now has recognizable parts, such as head, body, arms and legs. The umbilical cord is also present. Although human features are present, the proportion is much different than it will be when your baby is born. The head is large in relation to the trunk, and the arms and legs are short and flipper-like. At nine weeks, your baby will be 9/10 of an inch in length–about the size of a grape. The baby is also quite active at this stage, but you won't be able to feel any movements for at least 10 more weeks. 

9 week 3-D ultrasound

Weeks 11 to 13

By the end of the first trimester, the baby's body proportions have changed to become much more similar to those of a newborn. By 13 weeks, the baby is three inches long, measured from the top of the head to the bottom of the rump. (About the size of a small peach.) This represents a 30-fold increase in length in the seven-week interval from six to 13 weeks gestation.

 

 

13-week 3-D Ultrasound

Finger Food for Babies Recipes

Try these finger food tips and recipes as you teach your baby to feed himself

• Introduce finger foods at 8 or 9 months and do it one at a time, slowly adding new ones for your baby to try.
• Start with finger foods your baby likes in puréed form before introducing new tastes.
• Finger foods should be soft enough for your child to gum.
• A few raw finger foods to try include banana, avocado and grated cheese.
• Finger foods such as apple slices or asparagus spears should be cooked first so your child can manage them.

elf-feeding is an exciting developmental milestone for both mom and baby, but serving the wrong size or texture of food can put your little one at risk of choking. A few simple tips can help you take the fear out of introducing finger foods.

How to start

You can begin introducing finger foods when your baby is between eight and nine months old. Your infant will have few, if any, teeth at this age so it's crucial that the texture is soft so he can "gum" the foods (some foods will need to be cooked first).

Your baby should always be seated-and supervised-when eating to prevent him from choking. Start by giving him puréed food for most of the meal, then gradually transition to more finger foods over a six- to eight-month period. Start with finger foods your baby likes in puréed form before introducing new tastes. And don't be in a rush-introduce finger foods one at a time and slowly add new ones as he starts to get the hang of things.

Finger food for babies that are great raw include:

• Banana
• Avocado
• Tofu
• Semi-hard cheeses, such as Jack and Colby (introduce at 12 months)
• "O" shaped cereal
• Puffed rice cereal

Finger food for babies that need to be cooked include:

• Apple slices
• Pear slices
• Whole asparagus spears
• Carrots
• Zucchini
• Broccoli
• Sweet potato
• Whole green beans

Finger Food for Babies Recipes:

Cinnamon Apple Slices

Your baby will like the sweet juicy flavor and the challenge of picking up these finger foods will help develop his fine motor skills.

Directions: Wash, peel and core a golden delicious apple. Cut the apple into slices about ¼-inch thick. Place the slices in a plastic bag and sprinkle a little cinnamon overtop. Close the bag and shake it so the cinnamon is distributed evenly over the slices. Place the slices in a microwave-safe dish and cook for 3 minutes. They are done if a fork slides into them easily. Cool completely before serving.
Storage: Will last 4 days in the refrigerator, or 2 months in the freezer.
Age to introduce: About 9 months

Dusted Tofu Cubes

These nutritious little cubes are fun to pick up and taste good too. For variety, try banana instead of tofu.

Ingredients:
1/4 teaspoon flax seed, finely ground
1-2 tablespoons of Cheerios (or other cereal) OR 2-3 graham crackers
5-6 1/2-inch cubes of firm tofu

Directions: Place ground flax seed and cereal or graham crackers in a bag and crush into crumbs. Add tofu and shake lightly to coat the cubes with the crumb mixture. Serve immediately.
Age to introduce: 12 months (without flaxseeds, 8-10 months)

Sweet Potato Cubes

The natural sweetness of sweet potatoes (and their bright orange color) makes them a favorite among babies.

Directions: Wash, peel and dice a sweet potato into small cubes about ½-inch in size. Place the cubes in a microwave-safe dish, cover, and cook for 5 to 7 minutes. Let them stand for five minutes. You'll know they're done if you can easily mash a cube with a fork.

Add a little spice: Sprinkle a dash of cinnamon, nutmeg or ground ginger on the sweet potato cubes before you cook them for added flavor.
Storage: Cubes will stay fresh 4 days in the refrigerator or 2 months in the freezer.
Age to introduce: About 9 months

Acupuncture and Pregnancy

From morning sickness to breech babies, acupuncture may be the answer to your pregnancy problems.

Acupuncture and Pregnancy

• Look for a TCM practitioner or acupuncturist who has specialized training in obstetrical care.
• Acupuncture during pregnancy can help relieve everything from mild cases of morning sickness to severe nausea and vomiting.
• In the third trimester, research shows acupuncture can encourage babies to move so they're no longer in a breech position.
• Acupuncture pregnancy treatments can help prepare your body for labor and delivery and can also be used to induce labor once you've reached your due date.

hether you're vomiting your way through your first trimester or are plagued by pregnancy-related aches and pains in your second and third, acupuncture may be the key to relieving your discomfort. Here's how it can help you have a happier, healthier pregnancy in each trimester:

Acupuncture in the first trimester

Acupuncture during pregnancy can help with everything from mild cases of morning sickness to severe nausea and vomiting that require hospitalization, says Stephanie Curran, a registered Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) practitioner in Victoria, B.C. "Morning sickness usually starts at the six or seven week mark and, although we can treat patients at any time, it's best to start at the early onset of symptoms."

If you have a mild case of morning sickness, you may need to be treated once a week. More severe cases (if you're vomiting several times a day, for instance) may require treatment three times a week, or even every day. "Either way, you will know in three sessions whether acupuncture will help you," says Curran.

The use of acupuncture to treat morning sickness is one of the most widely researched applications of the treatment during pregnancy. Needling is done on acupoints on the insides of the wrists to relieve the symptoms of nausea and vomiting. Acupuncture can also be used in combination with other morning sickness treatments, such as Diclectin.

Acupuncture in the second trimester

Since the second trimester is often referred to as the "honeymoon" period of pregnancy, Curran doesn't see as many patients as she does in the first and third trimesters. However, acupuncture can help you get a good night's sleep and relieve your stress if you're feeling anxious about impending motherhood. Acupuncture is also helpful if you've started experiencing some of the aches and pains associated with pregnancy, such as low back pain, headaches or carpal tunnel syndrome.

Many TCM clinics have special "pregnancy pillows" to help ensure you feel comfortable throughout your treatment, but just be aware that some practitioners won't treat pregnant women because they haven't had the proper training. "It's important to look for a TCM practitioner or acupuncturist who has specialized training in obstetrical care," says Curran.

Acupuncture in the third trimester

Between 32 and 34 weeks, your TCM practitioner will start to look at your baby's position in the uterus. If your baby is breech (head up as opposed to down), a study in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that acupuncture and moxibustion were very successful at encouraging babies to move until they were no longer breech.

Moxibustion is a TCM treatment that involves burning an herb (mugwort) over different acupoints on the body–in the case of breech babies, the herb is held over a point on the feet. "It's a nice option during pregnancy because it's safe and non-invasive," says Curran. "It's most effective when done between 32 and 35 weeks because there is more room for the baby to move and change position."

By the time you hit the 36 to 37 week mark, acupuncture on points on your legs and lower back can help your cervix soften and efface in preparation for labor and delivery. Then, once you reach your due date, acupuncture can be used to induce labor. "Your cervix has to be ready before the treatment can be done," says Curran. "And you have about a 10 day window before medical intervention becomes more likely."

Acupuncture FAQ

Answers to some of the most frequently asked questions about acupuncture:

1. How does it work?
Thin, sterile needles are inserted into points along energy channels (meridians) in the body in order to create an unblocked flow of energy, which can help reduce pain and inflammation, increase blood flow, promote relaxation and establish overall health.

2. Will it hurt?
Some people feel nothing at all when the needles are inserted, while others feel a slight "ache" as the needles are manipulated to stimulate energy flow. "Some sensation is okay, but nothing should hurt," says Curran. "Once the needles are in, you may go into a state of deep rest and relaxation–many people fall asleep."

3. Is it safe?
Acupuncture needles are sterile, single-use needles and are perfectly safe, says Curran. "There is a slight risk of some bruising to the area of treatment," she says. "But the needles are very fine–you can fit three or four acupuncture needles into the hollow of a regular needle that would be used for something like blood work." Certain acupoints should not be used during pregnancy except during labor, which is why it's important to visit a practitioner trained in obstetrics.

4. How long does a treatment take?
An acupuncture treatment typically lasts 45 minutes to an hour.

The 100 Best (and Worst) Places to Raise a Family

You and your kids call it home, but how does your city rank nationally?

Research by Jaclyn Colletti and Joel Weber

From the moment she finds out she's expecting, a new parent's mind begins to construct a fantasy of the perfect place to build a nest: a community that's safe, nurturing, stimulating, and economically sound. A neighborhood where parents reflect your values—education, health and fitness, concern for the environment—and raise their children the same way. The kind of place where a child can slip on her rubber boots, grab her colorful umbrella, and play on the quiet, tree-lined street outside her home without worry. The editors of Children's Health wanted to find where in America such places existed and how we can make the communities we live in today more like that ideal, so we embarked on a comprehensive statistical analysis to rank 100 noteworthy American cities scattered across the country. We considered more than 30 factors that parents deem vitally important, including crime and safety, education, economics, housing, cultural attractions, and health. When we crunched the numbers, these were the cities that best complemented family life.

See List here:  http://www.childrenshealthmag.com/parents/The-best-and-worst-places-to-raise-a-family3.php

New Rules of Kids' Fitness

Your approach to a child's physical development can affect him for years to come. Make sure you get it right

When an NBA star talks, kids listen. That's why more than 250 kids at a New Orleans school were hanging on Tyson Chandler's every word. But Chandler, the 7'1" center for the NBA Hornets, wasn't giving the standard "I always dreamed of playing pro ball" spiel. He was talking two-wheelers with the students of Andrew H. Wilson Charter School during his visit with them as part of the Men's Health FitSchools' fight against childhood obesity.

"When I was growing up, my first love wasn't basketball," Chandler revealed to the surprised audience. "It was bike riding." And that, he explained, cultivated his passion for physical activity, which ultimately helped him thrive at hoops. (Along with a tremendous growth spurt, of course.)

It's this same level of passion that Chandler hoped to inspire at this FitSchools event. And to help that cause, he presented the school with brand-new bikes from Specialized and basketball goals from Spalding, along with a day of fit games with FitSchools staffers and New Orleans Hornets cheerleaders. The objective: to show kids how much fun fitness can be.

You can — and should — take the same approach at home. "Making sure your kids enjoy being active is the key to keeping them healthy for life," says FitSchools advisor Jim Liston, C.S.C.S. "But you may have to do the opposite of your first instinct." How so? See for yourself by following Liston's five new rules of kids' fitness.

1. Don't Compare Your Kids With Others

If your 6-year-old finds himself glued to the bench, it doesn't mean he'll never become a talented athlete. "Kids develop the coordination to run, catch, and throw at different rates," says Liston. "The trouble is, they're often expected to perform at certain levels based solely on their ages." As a result, a child whose development is slower than average may never have the opportunity to catch up to his peers.

Think of it this way: When a kid learns to read, he doesn't start with War and Peace . He starts with letters and words before progressing to sentences and stories. There's simply no way around it. It's the same with sports skills: "If a kid tries to catch a baseball on the run before he's able to catch a beach ball while standing still, he won't have the tools he needs to be successful," says Liston. "Unfortunately, many parents and coaches think the solution is for the child to try harder, when the real secret is backing up to a simpler task that the kid can improve upon."

2. Never Reward Kids With Food

It's no wonder childhood obesity is so prevalent: "We tell our children to eat healthy, but then we reward their good behavior with junk food," says Liston. "Think about what a mixed signal that sends." No, there's nothing wrong with an occasional treat. But to consistently reinforce a kid with ice cream and candy for a job well done — such as finishing his homework or behaving in the grocery store — delivers the wrong message.

What's more, you should use caution in rewarding kids with any kind of food, including healthy fare. "This practice can teach them that it's good to eat even when they're not hungry," explains Liston. "A better strategy is to give them another kind of reward — like extra playtime outside, especially if it's with you." They'll still learn which behaviors will be rewarded, and the prize won't be detrimental to their mental or physical development.

3. Know When To Praise

Kids aren't stupid. Say a child whiffs at three pitches in a row. The modern parent often tells him, "Good try." But that type of hollow praise doesn't console him, or help him the next time he steps up to the plate. "Praise should be specific and authentic, as in, 'Good job juggling the ball 10 times. I see you've been practicing a lot. Your efforts have paid off,' " says Liston. "You should also mix instruction and encouragement when your child makes a mistake." So look for a teaching point, even on a strikeout. For instance, you might say, "Good eye on that second and third pitch. Keep swinging at pitches like those, and the hits will come."

Perhaps just as important, avoid telling the kid what he should have done: "You have to swing sooner, Billy!" There's nothing wrong with acknowledging mistakes, but keep the focus of your instruction on what the child is doing correctly. This will boost his confidence and help him improve faster. You might liken it to the approach parents use when a toddler is learning to walk. They typically encourage every tiny step of improvement instead of dwelling on the falls. Use the same strategy when you teach the most basic sports skills, and your child will have greater success — and, as a result, more fun.

4. Instruct By Showing, Not Telling

Forget the phrase "Keep your eye on the ball." Why? Because the first time most kids hear it, they have no idea what you're talking about. "You can't just tell a young person who's learning a new skill what to do," says Liston. "You have to show him." Then let the child try it, reinforce what he did correctly, and repeat the entire process. That's because children need repetition in order to learn a new task and instill correct behaviors.

Apply this technique when you're teaching a child to hit a baseball:

1. Stand a few feet away from the kid (who should be holding the bat, ready to swing) and tell him to look at the ball.

2. Move toward him with the ball in your hand while continually instructing him to keep looking at the ball. This simple method teaches him to track the ball.

3. When you approach the strike zone, tell him to slowly try to hit the ball with the bat.

4. Now go back to the starting point, but this time toss the ball into the strike zone and allow him to swing at full speed.

5. Review what the child did well and give instruction for improvement.

6. Repeat the process, making sure he's consistently successful before you increase the difficulty by throwing the ball faster.

5. Remember to keep play fun

Don't worry too much about the rules. "Making a game or activity too rigid is the best way to guarantee that a kid won't want to be active," says Liston. "Your job is to facilitate play, not dictate it." So if kids stop playing an organized game and start chasing a butterfly, just go with it. "As long as young kids are running, jumping, and having fun, they're improving their health and athletic ability."

It's also important to avoid embarrassing situations that can stick with a child. That means kids shouldn't pick their own team members, and no one should be made an example when learning a new skill. "The fewer negative experiences and the more enjoyment kids have," Liston says, "the more likely they are to continue to be active for a lifetime."

The 5 Reasons Our Kids Are Overweight

Here's an eye-opener: The CDC found that kids eat more than 150 additional calories every day than they did in 1989.

Here's an eye-opener: The Centers for Disease Control found that kids eat more than 150 additional calories every day than they did in 1989.

Let's run the math on that one. It takes 3,500 calories to create an extra pound of body weight. That means every 20 days, the average American child eats enough extra calories to weigh a pound more than his 1989 contemporary. Over the course of a year, that's enough to add 18 pounds of extra heft to your child's frame.

How can this be? Are children today simply that much more gluttonous? Are parents that much more lax? Did somebody farm out all our new home construction to Hansel and Gretel Architects, Inc.?

Well, consider this: It's not just our kids who are eating vastly more calories. In 1971, the average American male consumed 2,450 calories a day; the average woman, 1,542. But by the year 2000, American men were averaging about 2,618 daily calories (up 7 percent), while women were eating 1,877 calories (a whopping 18 percent increase, or 335 more calories every day!). The real truth of the matter is this: The food that we consume today is simply different from the food that Americans ate 20 or 30 years ago. And the reasons are as simple as they are sneaky:

#1: We've added extra calories to traditional foods. In the early 1970s, food manufacturers, looking for a cheaper ingredient to replace sugar, came up with a substance called high-fructose corn syrup (HFCS). Today, HFCS is in an unbelievable array of foods — everything from breakfast cereals to bread, from ketchup to pasta sauce, from juice boxes to iced tea. According to the USFDA, the average American consumes 82 grams of added sugars every day, which contribute an empty 317 calories to our diets. HFCS no doubt shares some of the blame; as a cheap by-product with a long shelf life, the food industry is finding all sorts of new foods in which to hide sugar. So Grandma's pasta sauce now comes in a jar, and it's loaded with stuff just perfect for adding meat to your bones — and flab on your belly.

Tip: Once you excise the sugar from your diet, replace it with these 10 best foods you're not eating.

#2: We've been trained to supersize it. It seems like Economics 101: If you can get a lot more food for just a few more cents, then it makes all the sense in the world to upgrade to the "value meal." And because food is so inexpensive for manufacturers to produce on a large scale, your average fast-food emporium makes a hefty profit whenever you supersize your meal — even though you're getting an average of 73 percent more calories for only a 17 percent increase in cost. The problem is the way we look at food — we should be looking at cutting down on our calories, not adding to them. In fact, if we were really smart, fast-food shops would be charging us more for the smaller portions!

Tip: Before you supersize it, tame your raging appetite with these 8 techniques.

#3: We've laced our food with time bombs. A generation ago it was hard for food manufacturers to create baked goods that would last on store shelves. Most baked goods require oils, and oil leaks at room temperature. But since the 1960s, manufacturers have been baking with — and restaurateurs have been frying with — something called trans fats. Trans fats are cheap and effective: They make potato chips crispier and Oreo cookies tastier, and they let fry cooks make pound after pound of fries without smoking up their kitchens. The downside: Trans fats increase your bad cholesterol, lower your good cholesterol, and greatly increase your risk of heart disease.

#4: We're drinking more calories than ever. A study from the University of North Carolina found that we consume 450 calories a day from beverages, nearly twice as many as 30 years ago. This increase amounts to an extra 23 pounds a year that we're forced to work off — or carry around with us. Many of the calories come from HFCS in our drinks — especially, when it comes to kids, in our "fruit" drinks that are often nothing more than water, food coloring, and sweetener. In fact, anything you have for your kids to drink in your fridge right now — unless it's water, milk, or diet soda — probably has HFCS in it. Go ahead — read the label.

#5: We don't know what's in our food. More and more, marketers are adding new types of preservatives, fats, sugars, and other "new" food substances to our daily meals. But often, they go unexplained (what is "xanthan gum" anyway?) or, in the case of restaurant food, unmentioned. Unless we're eating it right off the tree, it's hard to know what, exactly, is in that fruity dish.

Build Kids' Brains with Brawn

Exercise at a young age does more than fight obesity

Ever see Dallas Cowboys safety Ken Hamlin slam into a receiver? It's brutal. Makes you wince. But to understand his drive, he says, you'd have had to watch him as a tot-which would've been hard to do, because he barely stayed still. "Running around my backyard set the stage for it all," he says. "It led me to learn how to move, improved my coordination, and taught me that being active is fun."

Hamlin learned more than that: Experts say an active childhood leads to a healthy lifestyle later, and builds the foundation for the social, psychological, and mental skills needed to succeed as an adult. So encourage your kids to hit the pavement. Here's how.

For the latest news and parenting advice delivered right to your inbox, sign up for the brand new Children's Health newsletter.

1. Give them control
Hamlin's parents didn't push him toward a specific activity, so he thought of sports as something fun he'd found on his own. He played a little of everything-basketball, baseball, soccer-before discovering football. "To love being active, children need to spend time in environments of their choice," says youth fitness expert and FitSchools Foundation advisor Jim Liston, C.S.C.S. Encourage your kids to play and switch sports, and don't be judgmental about what they pick. If they settle on something by themselves, they'll be more dedicated to it.

2. Promote teamwork
"I looked forward to individual success, but fun with teammates was what kept me coming back," says Hamlin. As your child joins teams, encourage him or her to befriend teammates and join them in celebrating successes — with a trip to a go-kart track, for example. Team sports improve psychological health and teach interaction skills, Liston says. "The best opportunity for children to develop trust and conversation skills is by building those attributes at a young age," Liston says. Encourage your entire clan to stay active and healthy with this fun fit family activity plan.

3. Encourage, don't criticize
Hamlin, who was voted one of the Cowboys' defensive captains last season, says he learned leadership from his parents and early coaches. They all did the same thing: let him develop at his own pace. "My improvement came from nonstop support, so I try to do the same for teammates now," he says. When your child makes a mistake during a game, show support and encouragement, not criticism-and make sure everyone around you is doing the same. "Children need a space free from berating and humiliation," says Liston.

4. Connect the dots
In high school, Hamlin was a National Honor Society member and president of his senior class. "When you do well in sports, you want to match that performance in everything you do," he says. Harvard researchers agree. They found that success on physical-education assessments led to better math and English scores. "The more children exercise, the more they increase brain activity," says Liston. So encourage your kids to think of sports as a part of their lives. Reward them equally for great games and great grades, and they'll want to achieve both.
For every tackle he makes this season, Hamlin will donate $100 to the Men's Health FitSchools Foundation, a program to improve physical education and fight childhood obesity in schools. For more information, visit childrenshealthmag.com/fit-schools/.

Blinds recall due to strangulation threat

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- All Roman-style shades and roll-up blinds are being recalled after reports of babies and toddlers dying from strangulation, the federal agency in charge of product safety announced Tuesday -- one of the five largest recalls in the agency's 35-year history.

The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission said the recall affects more than 50 million Roman shades and roll-up blinds, which have cords that can get caught around children's necks.

25 million Roman shades were recalled because an infant's head can get caught between the cord and the fabric.
27 million roll-up blinds were recalled because a baby's head can get caught in the cord.

CPSC said 5 children have died of strangulation and 16 others have been nearly strangled since 2006 because of the Roman shades, which pose a problem because of space between the inner cord and the shade fabric. The recall affects 25 million Roman shades.

Roll-up blinds have a large loop at the end of the cord that can strangle young children, the CPSC said, adding that 3 children have died from the roll-up blinds' hazard since 2000. The recall affects 27 million roll-up blinds.

The commission said about 5 million Roman shades and 3 million roll-up blinds are sold each year.

CPSC said it is working with the Window Covering Safety Council, an industry trade group, to provide repair kits for Roman shades and roll-up blinds sold at retailers including Wal-Mart (WMT, Fortune 500), JCPenney (JCP, Fortune 500), Pottery Barn, West Elm, Ace Hardware, Big Lots (BIG, Fortune 500), Ross (ROST, Fortune 500), and The Land of Nod.

The repair will eliminate the cord from the Roman shades and instead provide rings for consumers to install. Shade owners will have to manually lift the rings to raise the shade.

The kit will provide a device for roll-up blinds that will force the cord to separate into 2 pieces if a force equal to a baby's head is applied. The CPSC said the cord cannot be eliminated from the design of the roll-up treatment because it would strip its functionality.

In 2000, CPSC also worked with the Window Covering Safety Council to recall 85 billion window blinds. The recall mostly affected Venetian and vertical blinds.

Since that industry-wide recall, however, CPSC said Roman shades and roll-up blinds have been installed in more homes because of their improved affordability and aesthetic.

While the 2000 recall resulted in improved standards for Venetian and vertical blinds, CPSC said the industry did not move fast enough to improve standards for Roman shades and roll-up blinds.

"The current standards are not adequate to protect the safety of children," said Scott Wolfson, spokesman for the CPSC. "The recall will push the industry in the right direction to see what other stronger steps can be taken."

Wolfson also said the agency is considering setting federal mandatory standards.

"Recall after recall is not the solution to protecting children. A good standard can protect children. A good standard can protect lives," he said.

For a free repair kit, consumers can contact the Window Covering Safety Council at www.windowcoverings.org or 800-506-4636.

Here's how the recall affects blinds bought at major retailers:

JCPenney: The department store is recalling 2.2 million Roman shades and 340 roll-up blinds that were sold in stores, in catalogs and on the retailer's Web site since at least 1999 through October 2009 for between $10 and $500.

CPSC said JCPenney is aware of 2 separate instances in which a 2-year-old girl became entangled in the cord at the back of a Roman shade. Neither incident left permanent injuries.

Wal-Mart: The discount retailer is working with the CPSC to recall 500,000 Roman shades and 600,000 roll-up blinds that were sold between January 1999 and September 2009 for between $6 and $30.

No incidents or injuries have been reported resulting from blinds sold at Wal-Mart stores.

Consumers with bamboo roll-up blinds in particular should take their blinds to Wal-Mart stores for a full refund.

Pottery Barn: The home goods retailer is recalling 305,000 Roman shades, after recalling 85,000 of them in August. In June, a 3-year old boy was caught by the inner cord of a Pottery Barn Roman shade. He has since recovered from a thin laceration around his neck, CPSC said.

The Roman shades were sold at all Pottery Barn stores and their Web sites from January 1998 through October 2009 for between $25 and $180.

Pottery Barn is also recalling 45,000 roller shades which can also pose the risk of strangulation if the shade's looped cord is not attached to the wall with the tension device provided.

The roller shades were sold through the Pottery Barn catalog and online from January 2003 through October 2009 for between $100 and $120.

Consumers can contact Pottery Barn at 800-492-1949 or its Web site for a free repair kit. To top of page

Safe Co-sleeping with Baby

How to make co-sleeping work for you and your family.

Co-sleeping

• Every family has different nighttime needs and the key is to find the solution that feels right to everyone in your family, whether it's putting baby in a crib in the nursery, or co-sleeping.
• The best choice for co-sleeping is to place a large, firm mattress on the floor, making sure there are no crevices that your baby can become wedged in.
• Infants should be placed between their mother and the wall or guardrail as fathers, siblings, and grandparents don't have the same instinctual awareness of a baby's location as mothers do.
• Remove pillows and blankets in the early months and don't wear night-clothes with strings or long ribbons. Don't wear jewelry to bed and if your hair is long, put it up.
• Make sure that your young baby is sleeping on her back, which is the safest position for sleep.

he family bed, co-sleeping, shared sleep–no matter what you call it, it means that your baby sleeps with you, or very close to you. Co-sleeping is popular with parents (particularly nursing mothers) of young babies who wake throughout the night and also with parents of older babies who enjoy the nighttime closeness with their child. If you're considering co-sleeping, here's what you should know about the easiest–and safest–way to share sleep with your child.

Making the decision to co-sleep

Every family has different nighttime needs and the key is to find the solution that feels right to everyone in your family. It's important to forget about trying to satisfy anyone else's perception of what you should be doing. In other words, no matter what your in-laws, neighbors, pediatrician, or favorite author say about sleeping arrangements, the only "right" answer is the one that works for the people living in your home.

Making co-sleeping safe

If you decide to have your baby sleep with you, either for naps or at nighttime, you should follow a few safety guidelines:

1. Your bed must be absolutely safe for your baby. The best choice is to place the mattress on the floor, making sure there are no crevices that your baby can become wedged in. Make certain your mattress is large, flat, firm, and smooth. Do not allow your baby to sleep on a soft surface such as a waterbed, sofa, pillow-top mattress, or any other flexible surface.
2. Make certain that your fitted sheets stay secure and cannot be pulled lose.
3. If your bed is raised off the floor, use mesh guardrails to prevent your baby from rolling off the bed, and be especially careful that there is no space between the mattress and headboard or footboard. (Some guardrails designed for older children are not safe for babies because they have spaces that could entrap them.)
4. If your bed is placed against a wall or other furniture, check every night to be sure there is no space between the mattress and wall or furniture where baby could become stuck.
5. Infants should be placed between their mother and the wall or guardrail. Fathers, siblings, and grandparents don't have the same instinctual awareness of a baby's location as mothers do. But if you find that you are such a deep sleeper that you only wake when your baby lets out a loud cry, you should seriously consider moving baby out of your bed, perhaps into a cradle or crib near your bedside. (Your baby should be able to awaken you with a minimum of movement or noise.)
6. If you're worried about having your baby in bed with you, but you still want her close, one option is a sidecar arrangement in which your baby's crib or cradle sits directly beside the main bed.
7. Don't ever sleep with your baby if you have been drinking alcohol, have used any drugs or medications, are an especially sound sleeper or if you are suffering from sleep deprivation and find it difficult to awaken.
8. Do not sleep with your baby if you are a large person, as a parent's excess weight has been found to pose a risk to babies in a co-sleeping situation. Examine how you and your baby settle in next to each other–if she rolls towards you, if there is a large dip in the mattress, or if you suspect any other dangerous situations, play it safe and move her to a bedside crib or cradle.
9. Remove all pillows and blankets during the early months and use caution when adding pillows or blankets as your baby gets older. Dress your baby and yourselves warmly. (A tip for breastfeeding moms: wear an old turtleneck or t-shirt, cut up the middle to the neckline, as an undershirt for extra warmth.) Keep in mind that body heat will add warmth during the night, so make sure your baby doesn't become overheated.
10. Do not wear any night-clothes with strings or long ribbons. Don't wear jewelry to bed, and if your hair is long, put it up.
11. Do not allow pets to sleep in bed with your baby.
12. Make sure that your young baby is sleeping on her back, which is the safest position for sleep.

When to make changes

Sleeping situations tend to go through a transformation process throughout the early years of a baby's life. Some families make a conscious decision to co-sleep with their babies until they feel that their children are ready for independent sleeping. Some families make modifications as their babies begin to sleep better at night. Other families move their babies to cribs to accommodate a need for private sleep. The best advice is, go with the flow and make adjustments according to what works best for you.

Baby Tantrums

What to do when your sweet little baby has a sudden freak out? Here’s how to get a handle on baby tantrums.

Baby Tantrums

• Baby tantrums start around age one.
• A baby tantrum is due to an abrupt and sudden loss of emotional control.
• If you can identify the tantrum trigger (such as hunger or frustration), you can more easily calm your baby down.
• Keep your schedule as regular and predictable as you can.
• Give your baby toys that are geared to his age and ability level so he doesn't get frustrated.
• When your baby is overly emotional, keep yourself as calm as possible.

 aby's first tantrum can take you by surprise. You'll be shocked at the shrieking, stamping and hitting that can come out of such a little body. Don't take it personally. Baby tantrums aren't about anything you've done wrong, but there are a few things you can do to help calm your little one down and prevent the kicking and screaming from starting in the first place.

Why babies have tantrums–and what you can do about it

Baby tantrums start around age one and they aren't really about temper–your little one isn't old enough for that. A baby tantrum is due to an abrupt and sudden loss of emotional control. You need to treat tantrums in a one- to two-year-old differently than those with older children.

Various factors can bring on a tantrum and, with young children, if you can identify the trigger, then you can calm him down more easily–and perhaps even avoid the tantrum from happening in the first place.
Here are common reasons for baby tantrums and some solutions to try:

Reason for tantrum          Possible solution

Overtired                     Provide quiet activity or settle baby down to sleep
Hungry                        Give baby a snack or something to drink
Frustrated                    Help baby achieve his goal or remove the frustration; use distraction
Afraid or anxious          Hold and cuddle baby; remove baby from difficult situation
Can't communicate      Try to figure out what baby wants; calmly encourage him to show you
Resisting change         Allow a few minutes for baby to make an adjustment
Over-stimulated          Move baby to a quiet place

How to prevent baby tantrums

You can often keep a baby from losing control of his emotions if you prevent the situations that can cause this. Here are some things to keep in mind:

• When baby is tired, put him down for a nap or to sleep.
• Feed your baby frequently. Babies have small tummies and need regular nourishment.
• Give your baby toys that are geared to his age and ability level so he doesn't become frustrated.
• Warn your baby before changing activities. ("One more swing, then we're going home.")
• Be patient when putting your baby in an unfamiliar environment or when introducing him to new people.
• Help your baby learn new skills (such as climbing stairs or working on puzzles).
• Keep your expectations realistic; don't expect more than your baby is capable of.
• As much as possible, keep a regular and predictable schedule.
• When your baby is overly emotional, keep yourself as calm as possible.
• Use a soothing tone of voice and gentle touch to help your baby calm down. He can't do it on his own, he needs your help.

When do Babies get Teeth?

Everything you need to know about teething, including how to ease your baby's pain.

by: Nancy Ripton

Teething

• When do babies get teeth? Some babies are born with teeth; others won’t get their first tooth until 18 months.
• Six months is the average age to get a first tooth.
• Early drooling isn’t usually a sign of teething. At around four months, an infant’s saliva increases, but her lip tone is not strong enough to hold it in her mouth.
• Cool, gentle pressure to the gums is the best way to alleviate tooth pain.

our five-month-old wants to put everything from paper to the phone in her mouth – she must be teething. Not necessarily, says Dr. Alan Greene, author of Raising Baby Green. There are so many potential symptoms for teething that it’s easy to blame everything on the anticipated appearance of a child’s teeth, he says. Here’s how to tell if a visit from the tooth fairy is imminent, or if something else is to blame:

Teething Symptoms

Teething symptoms vary and can range from severe to nothing at all. Most children will experience at least one of the following symptoms as their teeth prepare to break through their gums:

• trouble falling asleep
• fussiness
• drooling
• runny nose
• rash around the chin or mouth
• red cheeks
• swollen gums
• biting
• an increased need to suck
• rejection of breast or bottle
• congestion

When Do Babies Get Teeth

It is completely normal for your baby to get her first tooth at 18 months. And there are rare cases when an infant is born with teeth. For most children, however, that first tooth will appear around six months.

Traditional Teething Timetable

70% of of babies get teeth according to this guideline:

6 months: lower central incisors – cutting teeth
7 months: upper central incisors
7.5 months: lower lateral incisors
9 months: upper lateral incisors
12 months: lower first molars (bicuspids) – grinding and chewing teeth
14 months: upper first molars
16 months: lower canines (cuspids)
18 months: upper canines
20 months: lower second molars
24 months: upper second molars

Is baby teething?

Teething symptoms could be due to a host of other issues. To determine whether teething is to blame for your little one’s fussiness, look for a sudden change in behavior. “We used to think teeth moved gradually,” says Dr. Greene. “Now we know there are some days when teeth move a lot and others only a little.” Most children will only be bothered by the large, intense movements.

If in doubt, it never hurts to try a teething remedy. If you’re wrong, most symptoms aren’t a sign of anything that would need immediate attention – the exception is a fever. Anything over 100 degrees Fahrenheit warrants a trip to the doctor.

When teething isn’t to blame

At around four months, an infant’s saliva increases, but her lip tone isn’t strong enough to hold it in her mouth so drooling will increase. “Even watching you eat can produce excess saliva,” says Dr. Greene. Babies begin an exploratory oral phase around four months causing them to bring their hands, and pretty much any other object, to their mouths continually.

Providing Relief

“Not all kids are uncomfortable with teething,” says Dr. Greene. “And those who are may not be with every tooth.” If your child is fussy, there are some simple ways to ease her discomfort:
Gentle pressure
Gently massage your infant’s gums with a clean finger.
Teethers
Opt for firm plastic to limit exposure to bisphenol A, a potentially harmful chemical common in soft plastics. Or try a natural rubber or silicone teething toy.
Cold Comfort
Chewing on something cool is a great way to reduce inflammation and ease discomfort. Place crushed ice in a washcloth or terry toy and let your child chew on it for 10 to 15 minutes.
Homeopathic teething tablets
Natural brands, such as Hylands teething tablets, have safe, natural ingredients and melt in your child’s mouth to provide relief. (Consult a physician prior to use.)
Fever Aid
Once you’ve ruled out other potential causes of fever with a visit to the doctor, the recommended dose of Tempra can help reduce fever and provide comfort.

Milk skirmishes

Just how good is chocolate milk for schoolchildren?

Sugary junk food or nutrition-packed snack? That question’s on a lot of minds as chocolate milk gets an image makeover: it’s now being promoted by the American dairy industry as a healthy choice for kids.

In U.S. schools, flavoured milks (like chocolate or strawberry) account for about 70 per cent of all the milk kids drink. So, when concerns about obesity prompted some to take them off cafeteria menus, the industry was quick to respond: it rolled out a campaign, called “Raise your hand for chocolate milk,” including a petition, a Twitter feed, and slick ads with actress Rebecca Romijn.

Like plain milk, flavoured milk offers nine essential
nutrients, the campaign notes, “plus the taste-appeal kids go for.” While the chocolate kind has more sugar (roughly the same as a glass of orange juice), the campaign calls this an “acceptable trade-off,” noting that over half of all teens aren’t getting enough calcium, risking their bone health down the road. Taking flavoured milks out of schools could do more harm than good, the argument goes, encouraging kids to choose less nutritious drinks like soda.

In Canada, the debate is playing out in P.E.I., where parents are pushing for chocolate milk to be subsidized in school cafeterias, just as white milk is. Jennifer Taylor, an expert in childhood nutrition at the University of P.E.I., says only half of all kids there are drinking enough milk. Taylor, who heads the province’s Healthy Eating Alliance, supports subsidizing chocolate milk, even though some people react “like we’re recommending rum to children.” (In New Brunswick, both chocolate and plain milk are subsidized. P.E.I. has no plans to introduce a similar program for now, because the current budget won’t allow it.)Adults could stand to benefit, too, says the Dairy Farmers of Canada, which promotes chocolate milk as a way for athletes to refuel: it replenishes electrolytes and carbohydrates, like a sports drink, and has protein, too. One U.S. study of male soccer players found that those who drank low-fat chocolate milk after training had less evidence of muscle damage than those who got a high-carb sports drink. In another study, Spanish researchers found that regular consumption of chocolate milk could reduce inflammation (but not as much as red wine).

Yet chocolate milk has its detractors, including Dr. Yoni Freedhoff, medical director of the Bariatric Medical Institute in Ottawa: he likened it to a “liquid chocolate bar” on his blog, Weighty Matters. “The sugar in chocolate milk is not negated by its nutrients,” he says. Beyond that, “there’s no calcium emergency in our society. The emergency is obesity.” Experts worry promoting chocolate milk could shape bad eating habits and send mixed messages to kids, who might come to expect a sugar rush with their healthy food. And, while those who gorge on junk food tend to cut calories later in the day to compensate, says Barry Popkin, an obesity expert at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, when those extra calories come in a drink—juice, soda, or a Rolo-flavoured milkshake, which has a whopping 400 calories per 473-ml bottle—they won’t.

It’s true that kids might complain if chocolate milk is taken off the menu, but research suggests they’ll learn to cope. In the U.S., studies have shown that kids will eat low-sugar cereals, and drink white milk, when that’s what’s available. “If you give a kid the choice between regular milk and water,” says Popkin, “they’ll get enough regular milk.”

Information is current as of the original date of publication.