Not an only child anymore: Helping your child adjust to a new sibling

Being an only child
rocks. You're the centre of your parents' universe, you get to name the
pets, you have the backseat of the car to yourself, and chances are,
you're the apple of Grandma and Grandpa's eyes. But suddenly, the bump
in Mommy's belly turns into a real live brother or sister… and
your world's never the same again.

While most kids will bond
with their new siblings – involving them in the pregnancy by
having them come along on doctor's appointments, and helping you
prepare baby's layette will help – the adjustment from Only Child
to First Child can sometimes take time. Here are some tips for helping
your firstborn cope.

Toddlers
Child No. 1
may soon never even recall a time when she was an only child. Cool.
(But the challenge for parents is dealing with diapers and dependence
times two!)
• Give him a baby doll he can take care of, just as you take care of your new baby.
• If he's moving out of the nursery, start the process a few months before your second child arrives so you have the energy to help him adjust, and so he doesn't "blame" baby for the move.
• If you have the energy, stagger their naptimes so you have some one-on-one time with him while baby sleeps.

Preschoolers
Some
experts believe kids between 18 months and 3 years of age have the
hardest time adjusting to this life change. Be patient, involve him,
and get him psyched about his role introducing baby to world and vice
versa.
• Don't share the news too early. It
can be hard to be patient for nine months. (Also, miscarriages can
happen even if your first pregnancy was complication-free, and
explaining what happened won’t be easy.) Later in your pregnancy,
feel free to take him along for your ultrasound appointments.
• Sign him up for a sibling orientation session at the hospital.
• Enlist that preschooler desire to help. Ask him to fetch diapers, to entertain baby at "the other end" while you change diapers, to help you feed baby, and so on.

Grade school kids
Give her the opportunity to prove
what a big girl she is. But don't forget what a little kid she remains
at heart, and be sure to pay extra attention to her.
• Double up on your shopping. Take her for her back-to-school-gear, holiday formal wear, summer-camp gear and so on, and let her pick some of her little sibling's stuff, too.
• Appoint her your enforcer.
It can be awkward to ask guests to wash their hands as soon as they
walk in the door. Luckily, your bossy little seven-year-old can be
trusted with getting them to the sink or assailing them with hand
sanitizer.
• Decorate the nursery with her artwork. Frame it and hang it low so she can see it.

Tweens & teens
While
overt rivalry is less of an issue, too-cool-for-school big kids can act
like having a new sib's nothing to get excited about. Get them
interested and on-board by engaging their maturity.
• Bond through humour.
Joking about diaper changes and sleepless nights can diffuse tension
(and maybe even segue into another discussion about birth control!).
• Resist the urge to use him as a free babysitting service. It's not fair to saddle him with "parenting" responsibilities unless he expresses interest and aptitude.
• Engage him in reading to the baby. This is a low-pressure activity that allows him to help out, bond with baby and build his own reading skills at the same time.

All ages
• Spend some quality time alone with your firstborn. Hit the playground, see a movie, go out for a meal together. Make it a regular habit.
• Get them books about adjusting to a sibling. Ginger by
Charlotte Voake is a charming board book about a pampered cat who must
adjust to life with a new kitten; it's perfect for toddlers through to
seven-year-olds, as is Kevin Henkes' funny Julius, Baby of the World. Some Dog! By Mary Casanova is great for first and second graders. The ages six to 10 set will probably like the zany world of Ruby Lu, Empress of Everything by Lenore Look.
• Don't forget the gifts!
Take your firstborn on a shopping date before Baby No. 2 arrives. Catch
a movie, have lunch, and let her choose a gift for her new sibling.
Have it wrapped and put it aside, so she can "present" it to her new
baby sib when he arrives home. Don't forget to have a gift from baby
waiting for her, too! Remind those close to you that a small gift for
your older kid would be appreciated if they are visiting with gifts for
the newborn, but it can be a smart idea to have some inexpensive
wrapped items set aside in a closet for when guests forget.

Jealousy is a normal response with the arrival of a new baby.

Chemical cocktail 'risk to boys'

Chemicals may disrupt male development in the womb

Chemicals found in many food, cosmetic and cleaning products pose a real threat to male fertility, a leading scientist has warned.

Professor Richard Sharpe, of the Medical Research Council, warned these hormone-disrupting chemicals were "feminising" boys in the womb.

He linked them to raising rates of birth defects and testicular cancer and falling sperm counts.

Campaigners called for action to address the problem.

They warned that while exposure to a single chemical may cause no harm, the cumulative effect could be profound.

HORMONE DISRUPTORS Chemicals in consumer products and food that have been reported to disrupt the sex hormones include: Phthalates: Found in vinyl flooring, plastics, soaps, toothpaste Bisphenol: Found in babies' bottles, food can linings. mobile phones, computers Pesticides: Including pyrethroids, linuron, vinclozolin and fenitrothion

Professor Sharpe's report was commissioned by the CHEM Trust, a charity which works to protect humans and wildlife from harmful chemicals.

There is evidence that male reproductive health is deteriorating, with malformations of the penis becoming more common, rates of testicular cancer rising, and sperm counts falling.

It is thought that all these conditions - collectively called Testicular Dysgenesis Syndrome (TDS) - are linked to disruption of the male sex hormone testosterone.

Professor Sharpe concludes that exposure to a cocktail of hormone-disrupting chemicals in the environment is likely to be at least partly to blame by blocking the action of testosterone in the womb.

His latest report highlights animal studies showing that testosterone disrupting chemicals can cause TDS-like disorders.

In addition, de-masculinisation effects due to chemical pollutants in the environment has been reported in many species of wildlife.

The direct evidence of an effect in humans is so far less compelling - but is beginning to mount.

Minimise exposure

Professor Sharpe said: "Because it is the summation of effect of hormone disrupting chemicals that is critical, and the number of such chemicals that humans are exposed to is considerable, this provides the strongest possible incentive to minimise human exposure to all relevant hormone disruptors, especially women planning pregnancy, as it is obvious that the higher the exposure the greater the risk."

New EU chemicals legislation, called REACH (Registration, evaluation, authorisation and restriction of chemicals) puts the onus on the chemical industry to prove that its products are safe.

Campaigners say it could be used to reduce exposure to hormone disrupting chemicals.

Elizabeth Salter Green, CHEM Trust director, said; "Chemicals that have been shown to act together to affect male reproductive health should have their risks assessed together.

"Currently that is not the case, and unfortunately chemicals are looked at on an individual basis.

"Therefore, government assurances that exposures are too low to have any effect just do not hold water because regulators do not take into account the additive actions of hormone disrupting chemicals.

"It is high time that public health policy is based on good science and that regulatory authorities have health protection, rather than industry protection, uppermost in mind."

Ms Green advised pregnant women to keep cosmetic use to a minimum and avoid DIY. 

BBC.

Folic acid protects baby hearts

Flour can be fortified with folic acid

Mandatory fortification of bread with folic acid would slash the risk of babies being born with a heart problem, experience from Canada shows.

Rates of severe congenital heart defects among newborns in Quebec fell significantly after the move to fortify flour and pasta began in 1998.

The British Medical Journal online study lends support to calls for introducing fortification to Europe.

But others argue against this, saying it would inevitably harm some people.

The fear is that adding folic acid to products like bread could harm some elderly people if they are deficient in other B vitamins.

Personally, I do not think mandatory fortification is the way forward. It is like using a sledge hammer to crack a nut Dr Sian Astley, a scientist for the Institute of Food Research

In extreme cases, this can cause irreversible damage to the nervous system.

There is also concern that it may also increase the risk of certain cancers, including bowel cancer, in some people.

In 2007 the UK's watchdog, the Food Standards Agency, agreed with expert recommendations to fortify bread or flour with folic acid.

Since then, at the request of the Chief Medical Officer, an expert working group on folate has been considering the results of recent trials looking at the effect of folic acid on the risk of some types of cancer.

The group is expected to report back to Sir Liam Donaldson this summer.

Risk reduction

Folic acid is a synthetic form of folate, a B vitamin found in a wide variety of foods including liver and green leafy vegetables.

Pregnant women and those trying to conceive are already advised to take folic acid supplements to reduce the risk that their baby will have a "neural tube" birth defect like spina bifida.

But uptake is not ideal, particularly because some pregnancies are unplanned and can go unnoticed for some weeks.

The latest work suggests folic acid also cuts the risk of baby heart defects.

In the seven years after fortification was introduced there was a 6% drop per year in the birth prevalence of severe heart defects.

This compares with a 9% drop in neural tube defects.

Writing in the BMJ, lead author Professor Louise Pilote of McGill University in Montreal, said: "Given that severe congenital heart defects require complex surgical interventions in infancy and are associated with high infant mortality rates, even a small reduction in the overall risk will significantly reduce the costs associated with the medical care of these patients and the psychological burden on patients and their families."

Weighing the risks

The British Heart Foundation said the risks and benefits of fortification must be carefully weighed.

A spokeswoman said: "This Canadian study shows that when folic acid was added to flour and pasta the number of babies born with certain severe heart conditions was reduced.

"While the decrease in babies born with heart conditions during this time is statistically significant, many children were still born with congenital heart disease.

"This must be taken into account when considering the benefits of routinely introducing folic acid to flour and pasta in the UK.

"Especially because routine introduction could pose a risk to some elderly people as potentially dangerous vitamin B12 deficiency can be masked by high intake of folic acid."

Alternative suggested

Dr Sian Astley, a scientist for the Institute of Food Research, said: "Personally, I do not think mandatory fortification is the way forward. It is like using a sledge hammer to crack a nut.

"It would reduce ill health in children but there are cautionary issues.

"An alternative would be to fortify only certain foods and clearly label them so consumers can make the choice. Co-fortification with other B vitamins would be another sensible option."

She said the IFR believes there is still insufficient evidence to make a decision about whether the benefits of fortification would outweigh the risks.